Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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