I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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