my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
