??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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