were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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