I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
