Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
