I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
