It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
