can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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