i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
