the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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