I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
