She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
