And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
