How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
