yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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