Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
