just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
