If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
