6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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