u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
