Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
