You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
