My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
