You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
