why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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