What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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