im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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