the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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