What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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