my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
