he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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