yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
