she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
