so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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