Sponge bath it is.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
