She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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