why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Randomize
