Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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