do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
