One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
