I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
