After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
