he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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