I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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