Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
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Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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