I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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