I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
