Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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