We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
