I heard we made out
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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