Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
