You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
