I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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