hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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