I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
