I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
