I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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