i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
