I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
