Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
