okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize