I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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