I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she told me i tasted like america
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
